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Demigender is defined as the gender identity one holds when they identify with one aspect of the gender spectrum, but not completely. This identity is related to other nonbinary identities in that they both inherently reject the idea that gender is restricted simply to man and woman. Being demiguy means I identify most strongly with more masculine representations of gender, however I reject that my gender presentation has to be restricted to all things manly.
I refuse to let a binary gender identity hold me back from expressing myself as I wish to express myself. Yet, in the same vein, I am utterly terrified of this identity that I have taken on. I have only come out as demiguy to my partner and a few close friends, mostly because I expect the worst of telling my family how I feel about my gender identity.
I completely understand where he was coming from at the time, at least as best as I could from his perspective. But will my dad be the same way with me? Do I even reveal my gender identity to my coworkers, my bosses? Or do I take the chance that maybe this group of relative strangers, despite me working there for nearly two years, will accept my identity as demiguy, accept my pronouns and use them properly.
It all gets quite complicated though, thinking to what degree that kind of acceptance may actually go. Does that open them up to looking for reasons to fire me, cutting off my source of income and forcing me into a frenzy finding another job?
For every open and proud trans or queer person in this city, there seems to be 10 or more folks ready to beat them down, emotionally or physically. Beyond the white hipsters who are taking over once vibrant black neighborhoods, the white folks already look at black folks like animals.
Imagine if those black folks are openly trans or nonbinary—the word queer has all of the strength and utopic [like-home-ness] removed from it in an instant and it gets thrown around in the most aggressive ways. I don't feel like I have a gender, and I share a lot of experiences with others in the agender community.
I get severely uncomfortable in gender-exclusive spaces, I hate that people gender me on sight, I can't consider my own activities gendered and get confused by others, and expressing gender essentialist sentiments is the best and quickest way to drive me up a wall. At the same time, I'm noticeably female, or at least more female than male, meaning that I'm at least kind of female in a way that I'm not kind of male men are okay, but being male myself is kind of eww.
If I were forced to be exclusively and thoroughly and stereotypically male or female for the rest of my life, I'd immediately choose the latter with no regrets. So my agenderness is somehow tinted female. I think. My gender is confusing sometimes, like a misty midday or a sunshower. It should be noted that I've asked this same question on another site, and on that site they figured it would be easier if I explained what's going on that makes me feel like this term may be more appropriate.
I've just taken a look at the master definition, but that honestly doesn't shed any more light on it than the links I had in the OP did for me. But I don't feel any uneasiness if a community or place simply by chance seems to be all or dominantly one gender.
As I generally say to this kind of thing; it depends. Others here have hit pretty well on what exactly a demi-male is, so I won't really rehash that. I understand what Tarfeather is getting at as well. At least, I think I do. Basically, there are lots of labels that I myself find kind of But that's only in their application to me and my experience. They're not useful to me and my experience. Not only because I don't identify as demi-male, but also because I don't identify with that kind of demi concept.
It's a similar kind of situation with demisexual actually. I've always been a very black and white kind of person, so grey areas don't work well for me. But, and it's a big but, it would be a cold day in hell before I ever even thought about telling someone else those labels were 1 objectively useless, or 2 not real or 3 that they couldn't use them. First, I don't know that they're objectively useless. No one can really say that. Second, they're obviously real.
People are using them, that makes them more than real enough. Finally, it's not my or anyone else's place to tell someone else how they can and can't identify. If it helps you, do whatever you have to do. No one has the right to take that away from you. I really don't even care if you make something up that's completely new and probably only ever been used by you! You might have to do more explaining with it, but if it works for you, I say go for it! Besides, even if I'm not much of a grey area person myself, I definitely understand things exist in spectrums.
And like Heart said, there are people around here who do identify as demi-something. Kappamaki did a great job describing their experience. It's totally fascinating for me to read things like that, because it's such a foreign concept to me : Same goes for genderfluid actually! Ya, definitions alone aren't always the most useful, but they're at least a starting point. And there are definitely people who identify with the demigender label who don't feel like they have an "other" gender.
Demiboys or demiguys, or demimales, whichever you prefer can certainly feel like partially boys or guys or men or males , and just nothing else. As far as I can tell, from what you describe, if demiguy feels good to you, then it sounds like a good fit. I'm totally not bribe-able So if I'm understanding this right, the general consensus seems to be that if it's a term that feels good then one should go for it? I mean what I say to be more of a "trust your gut and work from there" viewpoint. You're here to question gender, which is great.
For most people, questioning their gender starts because the label they've been given before didn't feel totally real, or not quite right, or perhaps even terrible. As such, questioning gender is a very ligitimate thing to do, but I think sometimes people doubt themselves too much. Questioning one's gender is often a journey, and for many it's a long one.
Sometimes you don't get it right the first time and need to change labels later, and sometimes you got it right the first time but still have to change labels later I'm genderfluid, so I'm the last to argue that gender can't change None of those facts should ever devalue your experiences; whatever you call them, your experiences are important and valid, even if you need to research a few words and take a long journey to figure out the label that connects you with the group of people that you relate most to.
I'm afraid I can't think of how to elaborate more on the definition of demiguy. If you have any questions remaining, I can certainly have a go at answering, but I just don't quite know which direction to take right now and the gender field is much too broad to just go at it without guidance as to what would be useful to you ;.
Edit: perhaps this article would be relevant. I enjoyed reading it a while back, and I think it brings up good points. From the way you self-describe, I don't think you're 'coloring outside the lines', personally. I think you're sincerely trying to be accurate as well as sensitive to possible unintended trespasses, and I don't think anyone can or should take you task for that.
If memory serves, demi is used as a prefix and it was borrowed from French, where it means 'half' or even 'partial'. Like any other word, there can be some cultural drift, but again, even though it might seem you're not hewing to the letter of original intent, I think you're on the right track.
I myself am a demiguy, even though I'm female bodied. In my experience, being a demiguy gives me a sense of freedom from femininity and allows me to be masculine and express my masculinity and genderlessness at the same time. I feel more like an agender boy if that makes sense. I am a transboy. Mentally I'm kind of a year old boy without the excess hormones even though I'm a few years older than that.
My cousin has questioned my trans-ness because I don't act obviously male. Also I tend to doubt myself a lot, which submissiveness is considered a feminine trait. Demiguy, I think is identifying partly as a guy but the other part can be something else, I usually think androgynous or agender. It just means a little of something else so it could also be female, non-binary, third gender, etc.
It's not really directly stated. I don't think you have anything to apologize for. A conversation about how accepting or not the LGBT community is to the needs of allies is important, but not this thread. It belongs in a separate thread. If people are using it that way, shame on them, they're appropriating the word from those who really need it. Though I won't lie, previous negative exposure to FTB has me suspect. But at the same time if I were to dismiss it simply cause of that I'd be committing a grave logical fallacy indeed.
And although there is some parts which are minimal I have some disagreement with, the message as a whole does ring true. I was unconsciously looking at it as "Cis-Gender is set in stone and proven for a fact" and was throwing other identities at it, rather than evaluating and examining them on equal standing.
Which at the moment is that looking at how everyone's addressing Demi-Male it works as part male In my case most likely a majority , however there's still part of it that seems to need to be filled by something else. Because to my knowledge there is no other identity I seem to gravitate to or consider, it's the reason I haven't began asking these questions until yesterday. I am also very suspect of FTB for various non-trans-related reasons, so I hear you there. If I were linking to it myself, I would personally add a caveat that I am endorsing the article and not any other content on FTB.
But I did find that particular article useful though far too wordy. The author makes some very valid points about gender, imo. In other words they identify as partially male and nothing else. You don't have to fill the not-male part with anything, except if you want to. Heterosexuals, too, have to learn about themselves.
I never said that they are not allowed to or don't need to do it. Yes, they need an open-minded community. Which I don't think they have yet. That is, if we see the community as a group of people who specialize in helping heterosexuals. I'm not sure what you mean by "exclusive club".
That doesn't mean that you as a "normal" person cannot interact with them, find support from them and support them in return. It's not like they don't want to have anything to do with you. They often do want to get to know more people with the same identities though, because it's exciting and difficult to find friends with similar feelings and worldviews. In any case I don't think that our discussion is very helpful to the OP. If you want to, we can continue this through PMs.
If I had to choose between being obsessed with sex and sucking at math Both options sound really terrible. Mostly because of the math part. Can I choose to be a stereotypical alien instead? EDIT: Does that count as a garden path? As I said, identifying as demi-guy is probably less wrong than identifying as cis male.
So if you take a label, that would be your default, you shouldn't worry about it. Unless you would rather not take any labels at all, but then you might also want to stop speaking in case you accidentally say something that isn't true. That combined with the article should arm me with enough information and understanding to be able to handle the rest of this via personal thought and evaluation.
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